Baby #3

Well, I got a surprise back at the beginning of July. I will be having a 3rd child at the beginning of March. She will be our second girl. I had to find out at 16 weeks what the gender was. This entire experience is such a surprise, I couldn't wait any longer. My feelings are very mixed about this whole thing. Lila will be almost 4 when this baby comes. I was thinking about my "5 year plan" and it involved possibly finding a part time job. Now that has been pushed back even more. Maybe in 7 or 8 years I'll find something to do during my days while the kids are in school. I have always hated being pregnant. It's a scary time for me because of possible complications. I hope to make it to March without going on bedrest. I don't get morning sickness, but I was exhausted for nearly 12 weeks. I was taking two naps a day. I had all sorts of plans for the summer, but they went out the window because I was tired all the time. My poor kids were bored to tears often. Now that Grant is in school I have more energy, so Lila and I do some fun things during school time. I still get tired and need naps, but not as often as before. I am always congested. I can't sleep if I can't breathe through my nose. I haven't had a good nights sleep for months and I won't have a good nights sleep for many months to come. I find myself bursting into tears because I don't want to be pregnant. Then I feel ungrateful because I should see this as a blessing not a burden. I have friends and family that can't get pregnant. I should be thankful that getting pregnant has never been a problem. I just have to get through another 5 months of this. Then I will have to deal with all the newborn stuff. I guess I'll deal with things as they come. I will search for the good in this situation. But I am still having a hard time with this at the moment.